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Dear readers…I owe you an apology.

May 22, 2018 by Bianca Rael

Dear readers…I owe you an apology.

If you are reading this and you have been following my blog for a while, then I feel like I owe you an apology. The reason being is that I sort of just disappeared and didn’t leave you with any explanation of where I went so here it is…

I haven’t blogged for about 6 months because I have started another business. And while I could try do them both at the same time, I really want to put all my focus and energy into my business to make it work.

Aside from that, I’m not totally sure I’m a blogger. Let me explain what I mean…

Firstly, I’ll be completely honest and tell you that although I really believe in what I was blogging about, at some point the goal was always to make money from my blog because there is only so much I can give of myself and of my time without getting monetary reward back and the fact that I have 2 kids who need to be fed and go to school and and…

So when it comes to blogging there are a few ways to make money and none of them really sit well with me.
I’ve had some lovely experiences but it started to feel that if my husband and I had a meal out or a night away and I needed to blog about it, it kind of took something away from our time and experience together as my thoughts were on what I would need to blog about. It wasn’t a complete switch off which is the whole point of being together and going on date nights. I am also not into taking pictures of ourselves and our food constantly so really, I just don’t think I’m a blogger. While I was always honest when writing my posts, there was something about having to take that picture of us out on a date night that felt inauthentic to me and a bit forced and that’s not how I want it to be with us. My relationship will always come first and it felt like needing to blog about our experiences together was tainting something.

So while I may think I’m not a ‘blogger’, what I do think I am is someone who tries to be authentic and honest in my life and with others. And that really was what I was trying to convey in my blog posts about our marriage and myself. I was hoping to inspire people to get out and have fun together, to communicate with another, to be honest with each other. I was hoping, by sharing my own experiences, that you would know that marriage is not easy. The ‘happily ever after’ is a myth without doing what’s required to achieve that. And it is paying attention to your marriage each and every day. I was hoping to make you feel normal and ok if things weren’t feeling like the honeymoon you expected, if you sometimes don’t like each other, feel resentment, sad, unappreciated. These are all such normal issues and dynamics that go on in marriages but we don’t seem to talk about them…as a community and as couples. I was hoping to inspire people, inspire you, to realise the importance of constantly feeding your marriage if you want it to last. To go on those date nights, spend time together, put each other first (yes, before the kids) because that’s what’s needed if you want to stay ‘together forever’. Because it’s what I want for myself and my marriage.

So I haven’t been sure as to where that has left me and my blog. I have loved writing the personal stuff, the honest stuff and I could continue doing that but it’s not where I am right now. I’ve tried to think of other ways to structure my blog so that it can still carry on but I haven’t been successful with that. For now, I’ve just let it rest a bit which is why I have been so absent. I haven’t really been sure what to tell you, what to say as I’ve been quite unclear myself as to what to do with it, where it’s going or not going. I’ve also been avoiding writing this post and instead have just carried on sort of ignoring it. Which is why I wanted to apologise to you but truthfully, I haven’t really known what to say as I’m still not sure. For now, my blog is still up, there are still posts there that you can read and perhaps can help you. I don’t see myself posting for a while if at all but who knows where life will lead me.

As mentioned I have started my new business which has been going really well. My business is called Gifted and we do bespoke gifting for hospitality, corporates and events. As with everything in life, I like to do things a bit differently and with some meaning so this is my version of that in the gifting world. So, I am still around but have just changed focus and direction. If you’d like to have a look at my site and more about what I’m doing, you can find me at www.giftedforyou.co.za and on Instagram and Facebook. Please say hi by liking, following, signing up etc. and get in touch if you require unique and customised gifts 🙂

Right…so this is not good bye but rather thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. For commenting, for sharing, for liking. Thank you for reflecting, being inspired, looking within. Thank you for being part of this journey. I hope to have you join me on my next one. Until then…

Bianca x

How we bring ritual into our relationship to help bring us closer together

July 27, 2017 by Bianca Rael

How we bring ritual into our relationship to help bring us closer together

Do you have any rituals in your relationship? I’m not talking about satanic rituals or killing sheep or anything like that although if that’s your vibe then that’s cool and I’m not judging. I’m talking about doing something together in an intentional and conscious way in order to help you deal with something or work through something? I wouldn’t say we have rituals in our relationship but we have done a ‘ritual’ twice. The first time to help us deal with something that was going on in our lives and the second being just the other night for a similar reason. … [Read More]

I Met A Woman The Other Day…

July 11, 2017 by Bianca Rael

I Met A Woman The Other Day…

I met a woman the other day. I thought I had met her before but I couldn’t remember where.  We got chatting about this and that. She asked how I was, I told her. I asked how she was, she told me. We said goodbye and went our separate ways. … [Read More]

5 Changes I Made To Improve My Marriage: Part 2

May 18, 2017 by Bianca Rael

5 Changes I Made To Improve My Marriage: Part 2

As you may have seen in the title of this post, this is part 2 of ‘5 Changes I Made To Improve My Marriage.’ If you missed part 1, you can go on and read it quickly here and then come back here for part 2.  If you read part 1 already, this took me a lot longer than anticipated to post but here it is now :)… [Read More]

Who Packs The School Lunch Boxes In Your Home?

May 11, 2017 by Bianca Rael

Who Packs The School Lunch Boxes In Your Home?

I had a crap sleep last night and am already feeling my energy dipping so when my husband said to me this morning: ‘Don’t worry, love, stay in bed. I’ll take care of everything’, I was seriously appreciative and realised why I’m so lucky to have this man of mine. But hold on, before you go and think that my husband is a saint, let me just tell you that this has been a process and it’s not the way it’s always been. … [Read More]

When Did I Become ‘That’ Wife?

April 4, 2017 by Bianca Rael

When Did I Become ‘That’ Wife?

What a weekend it’s been. The truth is, my husband and I have been having a bit of a rough time lately. With each other. I won’t get into the details of it but if I had to look for a reason, I could say there have been a few things that have happened in the last couple of months that have led us here, but in actual fact these things are really just symptomatic of deeper underlying issues between us which seem to surface every so often. … [Read More]

5 Changes I Made To Improve My Marriage: Part 1

January 31, 2017 by Bianca Rael

5 Changes I Made To Improve My Marriage: Part 1

Part of my reason for starting my blog was due to something that was going on in my relationship with my husband. Or maybe I should say, something that wasn’t going on. You see, things were ok with us but that’s it. They were just ok. We were just 2 people carrying along, living side by side amicably but our connection just wasn’t there. I felt lonely…. [Read More]

When you love your husband but you’re just not liking him very much

December 16, 2016 by Bianca Rael

When you love your husband but you’re just not liking him very much

Ever had moments of knowing that while you absolutely love your partner, you just don’t like them very much? This was one such moment for me which I wrote about quite a while ago but never got to posting. While I’m happy to say I’m liking my husband very much at the moment, and mostly always do, on this particular night, I wasn’t. This is marriage, people… … [Read More]

Why I’ve Been So Quiet On my Blog Lately

November 10, 2016 by Bianca Rael

Why I’ve Been So Quiet On my Blog Lately

This is a post that I have been writing in my head so many times. In fact, typing it and writing it down in actual words feels a bit strange as it’s been such a long while, or so it feels like, that I have written anything. My head was starting to feel like a perfectly good place to write my posts but I think it’s time to actually get it out. … [Read More]

When soft broccoli (and my husband) really pissed me off!

September 14, 2016 by Bianca Rael

When soft broccoli (and my husband) really pissed me off!

The last couple of days I’ve been feeling really edgy and irritable. I don’t really know why. I can probably guess at a couple of reasons but that doesn’t really help the feeling go away. It comes and goes but when I’m feeling this way my patience is seriously low and my ability to get annoyed at any little thing is seriously high. I nearly lost it with my daughter this morning when I thought she was still in her pajama top and not dressed for school yet … [Read More]

Parents can still have fun…we did!

August 29, 2016 by Bianca Rael

Parents can still have fun…we did!

This past weekend my husband and I had a party at home. There was no occasion for it. It was just a ‘let’s have a party for the sake of it’ occasion and I have to say I think we’re on to something! But let me start at the beginning…

So every year, as my birthday starts approaching, I start saying ‘maybe I should have a party?’ I think about it, I talk about but I never do anything about it. … [Read More]

Does Fear Hold You Back From Doing The Things You Want To Do?

August 23, 2016 by Bianca Rael

Does Fear Hold You Back From Doing The Things You Want To Do?

Growing up I was quite a fearful child. I was very shy and sensitive. However, although a fearful child, as I grew older my confidence grew as well. I was very good at sports, I was popular at school and at some point in my life I developed a very healthy, ‘I can do whatever I set my mind to attitude.’ Otherwise known as a bit of a ‘fuck you’ attitude. And by you, I refer to my dear old companion…FEAR. … [Read More]

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