This past weekend my husband and I had a party at home. There was no occasion for it. It was just a ‘let’s have a party for the sake of it’ occasion and I have to say I think we’re on to something! But let me start at the beginning…
So every year, as my birthday starts approaching, I start saying ‘maybe I should have a party?’ I think about it, I talk about but I never do anything about it. I don’t know what it’s like for you on birthdays but for me, there’s also this pressure to have the best day. To plan, surprise and ultimately there’s always some disappointment involved. One of my best birthdays was last year when my husband had planned a couple of things but because of my daughters’ not feeling well, we had to change the plans and it was actually the best thing. We ended up going with the flow, taking it chilled and doing exactly what I felt like doing and not what I thought I should be doing. And it just turned out so well!
On our last getaway together to Greyton without the kids, my husband and I were in the car listening to music, driving and feeling great! As you might know, part of my reasons for starting my blog was to try get out and have more fun because as parents we just don’t do it enough! We get caught up in responsibilities, stress and the endless routine of life and somewhere along the line, we forget that we can still have some good old fun! So, driving in the car chatting, we decide, ‘let’s have a party! For no other reason other than to gather some friends together, have a good dance and just have fun!’ And so…we did!
And let me tell, it was amazing! I’m not a big drinker, I absolutely abhor the smell of smoke and quite honestly, I’m not sure what I would do with myself in a club anymore. I wouldn’t have the foggiest clue where to go even. So a party at home with the music we like, no smoke, our awesome friends was just so perfect. With it not being anyone’s birthday also just took any sort of pressure off and allowed us just to have a seriously good dance and a whole lot of well deserved fun. The best part for us was that everyone just had the best time. So many people said how they couldn’t remember the last time they went out and danced and had such a good time. It had been too long for everyone including us. ‘We don’t do this enough’ was something else everyone said. And we really don’t.
When you become parents, it’s so many things. It’s hard, it’s amazing, it’s the worst thing, it’s the best thing, it’s a whole lot of crazy all wrapped up into that one simple word. While we gain so much with these little beings in our lives, we also lose a lot of who we are. New parents might say, ‘We won’t let that happen to us’ and I’ll just say, ‘OK…’ (with a polite and knowing smile on my face) Because in my experience and in my friends’ experiences who are all parents, it’s kind of inevitable and maybe even a little bit necessary really. But that’s ok because you can get it back. It takes a bit more effort, a bit more work, a bit more planning but there are ways to remember who you are, who you were and who you want to be. Going on regular date nights is one of the ways we get out and have fun together and our party was another. While the planning of it brought up some issues for us which were all good in the end, it felt really good to plan our party together, dance together and just have some really good fun together!
There are so many things which are key elements in making a relationship work: communication, respect and honesty to name just a few have always been the obvious ones for me. But as I get older and our relationship gets older as well, I am realising more and more that having fun together (that doesn’t include your kids) is so so vital for us as parents, individuals and partners to keep us feeling young, alive and happy. So now…if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get ready for our date night. Cheers to having more fun in our lives!!!
When last did the two of you have some really good fun together?
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Remember small things have big impact. Life is in the details. Appreciate each other. Love each other. Nurture yourself. Nurture your relationship. Do the work!