‘Relationships are hard work.’
That’s what everyone always says.
I have to admit that when I met my husband, I never really understood that. I remember at the time thinking how easy our relationship was. How effortless. How all my needs were fulfilled. Really…I remember saying this. We were so in tune with each other, so solid, we just got each other. I felt totally comfortable and myself with him from the moment we met. I just never really got that saying.
Fast forward to present day of nearly 13 years of being together, 9 years married, 2 kids, a house, a dog and…OH! I get it now! Boy oh boy do I get it! Because wow, relationships really are hard work and constantly hard work if we want to keep them happy and strong and passionate and together.
The other day we sat with our 2 girls, aged 5 and 6, and watched our wedding video. If you have one, I strongly recommend you do this! I had quite mixed feelings afterwards. On the one hand, I felt closer to my husband after having watched us look so happy and in love. And on the other hand, I felt sadness after having watched us look so happy and in love.
We both said very heartfelt and honest speeches and I realised how much we really loved each other back then. How much we meant to each other. How much fun we had together, how much we laughed together. Not to say we don’t do that now, but it’s just different now. Life feels more serious, more stressed and it’s often hard to find the lightness and joyfulness that we once had.
Life gets in the way now. Kids get in the way.
The other night, feeling quite amorous, I was looking forward to getting into bed with my husband and taking it from there 😉 It took us 2 nights to actually get into bed with each other because our one daughter was sick, the next night my other daughter was sick and by the time the actual night came around when all was back to normal, I was over it, we were both exhausted from lack of sleep of 2 sick children and that was that..life got in the way…
The truth is, I actually love my husband more now than I did 9 years ago when we got married. One’s love matures, grows, changes, evolves into something much deeper and real.
However, I know, another thing people say which I never got but totally get now, is that love is not enough. It really isn’t. And here it comes again..relationships are hard work.
You have to put in the work constantly if you want your relationship to survive. Actually, not to survive, because who wants to just survive? We want it to thrive, to soar, to fly, to dazzle, to ignite into a million different pieces every time we look at each other! Ok, slightly dramatic but I’m going to stick with it.
And so, I am setting us the challenge of committing to Date Nights once a week.
But not just go to a restaurant, look at each other and have nothing to say to each other. I digress but does this ever happen to you? At home, we’ve always got so much to talk about but get frustrated because we never can talk with kids interrupting us etc and then we go out with no interruptions and it’s like…umm…ok…what should we talk about?
Anyway, Date Nights…I am making the commitment to go on exciting, different, adventurous date nights that help us remember who we are, remember that we can still have fun, and to create the relationship that we want to model for our children…fun, exciting, passionate! I hope you will join me on this journey and that you too can create the relationship that you desire.
Our first date night experience will be revealed soon…just as soon as I know what it is…;)