Our second date night started out a bit disastrously for me.
I had it all planned out.
I was going to do something different to my usual.
Break out a little bit…step out of my comfort zone…live dangerously…so I decided to wear red lipstick!
Alright, so a little bit more info about me is that I really only just started wearing daily make up a few months ago and that consists of a bit of eye concealer ( to hide those tired eyes), bronzer and mascara. This, for me, is a lot of make up. So wearing red lipstick is really out of my comfort zone and I thought I’d give it a try.
I had worn this particular colour (Diva from Woolies) before to a party where the theme was ‘sexy’ and it went down so well. All the woman wanted to put it on and it instantly gave us that ‘Sexy Diva’ feel. It really was the main star of the party. I thought I’d try recapture some of that sexiness, spice things up a bit 😉 Sometimes in relationships, you need to step out of your comfort zone a bit and try something different. However small that something is, just doing something differently is enough to bring a bit more excitement to it. That’s what I’m trying to do with my relationship at the moment.
So out I come into the lounge to make my ‘Sexy Diva’ entrance. My husband says, ‘I’m not sure I like it’, my sister, who was babysitting, says, ‘it’s quite red’ and my daughters say, ‘ it’s very bright mommy!’ Not quite the reaction I was wanting, and already feeling rather vulnerable I rushed off into the bathroom, tears welling, rubbed it off and put on my usual brown/neutral lip liner and gloss…so much for stepping out of my comfort zone!
But off we went on our date. In the car on the way there, my husband says, ‘Sorry, love. I was just being honest but I prefer the lipstick you’re wearing now.’
Why was I so annoyed? Was I upset with him for being honest? For not liking my ‘Sexy Diva’ look? Having an expectation that wasn’t met?
Yes, yes and yes.
Did he do anything wrong?
How many times does this happen in our relationships? We get upset because our partner’s reactions, actions or words are not what we have in mind. We blame the other for not doing that which we would want done in the way that we want it done. Personally, I know I’m guilty of this over and over again.
But instead of being annoyed with him, here’s what I did that night.
I recognised that I was feeling very tired that night, and that actually I wasn’t feeling in the red lipstick kind of mood. Tonight was not the night for stepping out of my comfort zone. I was trying to force something that I just wasn’t feeling. It was me…And that was ok.
And in that recognition, I could let go of the irritation and enjoy our date night together, leaving my red lipstick at home waiting for the night when I’m in the mood for my Sexy Diva to make her appearance and not caring what anyone else thinks!